I am a highly unmotivated individual whose biggest dream is to receive a big fat paycheck and have zero responsibilities. I am able to work alone or in groups as long as there's not much work to be done. I am very enthusiastic to prove to myself that this world sucks and everyone is boring as I have just graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. My favorite modules in school are non-existent. I fucking hate lectures and tutorial time is spent surfing the goddamn web. I go to school for the sole purpose of Hot Pants Hunting (HPH) and yes, it is an official term invented by yours truly. Before you call me a pervert, let it be known that I did not force these young ladies to wear uncomfortable and insanely short denim shorts. I am a mere onlooker enjoying the scenery, different because I admit it. The only reason they wear it is to show off their legs and for some, their ass if they manage to find shorts that are short enough, because these shorts could never ever possibly be comfortable. FBT is comfortable so I got no say there, I quote a female friend: 'I like wearing FBTs, it feels like I'm wearing nothing'.
Actually, I don't really go to school for the sake of looking at female legs. I can do so from the comfort of my own home with my laptop. I go to school cause I am fucking told to do so. Sorry for the strong language, I am just really PASSIONATE about this job interview. Speaking of passionate, I will passionately arrive for work late without fail and passionately do nothing but anticipate my 1pm lunch break. I will eat and have a cigarette during this period before resuming my wait. This second period of waiting will be different though, as I will instead, passionately wait for 6pm. At 6pm, I will passionately countdown 30minutes because that is when I will pack my shit and run out of your office door. I know that if I leave at 6pm you will think I am not hardworking, that is why I work so hard for a good impression. By the way there is no such thing as overtime in my vocabulary.
I await your favourable reply regarding the outcome of this interview.
Thank you for your fucking time.